So I get a ton of email between the six email addresses I use. Most of it is crap. A ton of crap, actually. We’re talking compost pile. But when I’m sitting there enjoying a glass of wine or other frosty adult beverage, I sometimes like to amuse myself by actually reading my email. The other night, I came across the lovely frigging piece of work you see below.

AboutMe spam

Ms. Collier ain’t the brightest bulb in the marquee, because…

Now there are a few things to note. AboutMe.com is a real site, and I do have an account there, with a page set up. You can see my actual AboutMe page below. Two things to note. First, the giant photo of me and MY FRIGGING WIFE! Second, my frigging bio text on the left which clearly states that I’m a frigging FATHER AND HUSBAND.

AboutMe spam

I know it’s difficult, but a little detective work may have offered clues to my marital status.

I realize that Ms. Collier might actually be a real person, though one whos light is not burning brightly, so I’m trying to be somewhat nice here. What part of my page was confusing, or in some way didn’t shed light on my marital status? Please, do tell.

More than likely Jean is the name of a spam bot. Which I so cleverly deduced by looking at Jean’s page – which has no information whatsoever. And also the fact that no real person could be so dumb as to look at my page and not know I was not single.

Assuming that my awesome sleuthing skills are correct, I’m left to wonder where the pride in one’s work has gone these days. I mean if you’re going to spam me – at least do me the courtesy of not insulting my intelligence by sending this palaver without a picture of yourself naked with a donkey, or some other similarly amusing imagery.