The government wants to keep us safe: A comedy

Computer software and hardware backdoors will allow the Government to keep us safe. That’s what the government wants us to believe.

Uhh, I’ve seen that movie before… it was called:
“TSA agents and metal detectors will keep people from bringing dangerous items on air planes”

The results: A new mother can’t bring 8 ounces of bottled breast milk on a plane, but any jackass can sneak a 5 inch blade or zip gun on a plane with little effort… as long as he is willing to wait in 2 hour security lines at the terminal.

Backdoors in software/hardware won’t keep us safe from anything. All it’s going to do is allow the government to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to create departments and committees that track the companies and back doors and give congress something to bloviate about every election season.

Disney spends millions to help keep you from being a douchebag

At our most recent trip to Disney World in Orlando, our Disney welcome kit included the usual assortment of flyers, coupons, and brochures for all the things that help us have a great stay at “The Happiest Place on Earth.”

Disney Selfie Stick Brochure

That welcome kit included an entire brochure, printed in 9 different languages, that simply asks you to not be a complete douchebag with your smartphone while you’re in Disney World. Actually, they’re not asking, they’ve banned the use of selfie-sticks in all their parks. Every single person who buys a ticket to Disneyland/Disney World gets this brochure.

I have of course heard of selfie-sticks, and how obnoxious they are, but I had never actually seen one in use. Unlike Disney World, Universal Studios does not ban them from their parks. And they were everywhere. And I must say that they are everything I read about and more. The people that use them are obnoxious, rude, and generally just look like they’re complete douchebags whos entire self-worth is based on their Facebook/Instagram friend count.

Imagine the millions upon millions of dollars Disney spends each year printing this brochure, just to help keep you from being a douchebag. Disney cares!

TV vs Netflix: TV just doesn’t get it

Just about a week ago, for instance, Time Warner hinted that it may start limiting the number of shows it makes available to Netflix altogether. It also hinted that it may increase the time it takes for a show to end up on Netflix after initially airing on TV.

Now, in yet another effort to quell the Netflix effect, Bloomberg recently reported that some TV networks are already cutting back on the number of aired commercials in an effort to keep viewers happy and off of their Netflix queue.

Netflix

Do you see what they did there? They completely ignored the reason that every subscriber of Netflix subscribed to Netflix for, and instead chose to pull a bait-and-switch on viewers while using it as an excuse to up the fees for commercials to advertisers. It would be an awesome business move were it not so shockingly stupid.

Note to TV studios: We don’t care if you remove ALL the commercials. That’s not why people cut the cord. They cut the cord because they’re tired of paying outrageously high monthly fees to the cable companies for channels they don’t even want. And they’re tired of being forced to spend time manipulating DVR schedules to record the few shows they actually want to watch so that they can watch them WHEN they want to watch them.

To combat Netflix (and other sites & services like it), the studios and distribution companies are withholding content for longer periods of time before letting Netflix distribute it to their customers. In some cases, they simply won’t let Netflix have certain content at all.

That’s brilliant. Look how great that worked for the music recording industry. Does the word Napster mean anything to these idiots?

We know he had a good time…

When Kian falls asleep in mommy’s arms before dinner time, then again in the car back to the hotel, then most of the way home on the plane.

Kian-florida-sleep-1

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