Tagged: humor

Did Bruce Willis need the ca$h?

Bad Bruce Willis movies

When I log-in to Netflix, I’m greeted with a parade of horribly written, produced, acted, scored and filmed Bruce Willis flicks. I’m not talking Armageddon bad (it’s in the list)… that was a “blockbuster” film at the time. I’m talking “I made this crap cause they had $3,000 and I needed the money” bad!

I get that my taste in movies is what Netflix uses to show me more movies… but I’ve never particularly care for Bruce Willis. Other than Die Hard, Armageddon & Sixth Sense, I’ve never watched any of his movies.

So given that, did Bruce Willis pick-up a drug habit he needs to pay for? Did he get married and divorced again? What happened that he needs the money so badly that he was willing to make these D-level flicks? And why are they showing up so frequently on Netflix?

A simple man…

Netflix reviews

The ever-helpful reviews of Netflix movies.

While they’re certainly a step up from YouTube comments… it’s not by much. I generally don’t have high expectations for movies, but I need a little more than the “simple man” in the screenshot above.

Your silly government: Chapter 297

obama-phone

“…Did you know that when this president took office, it was illegal for the President to end a tweet with a question mark without a six month approval process from the economists across the street at the “Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs.”

~and~

“This “corporate policy” is actually a law that makes your government act like this, and it’s nefariously named the “Paperwork Reduction Act.”

Those are just two snippets from The Law Everyone Should Hate.

This is the perfect example why Democrats & Republicans alike need to vote out every standing Congress man/woman in office and get new blood in there all at once—-so stupid laws like this get removed from the books quickly and quietly, and hopefully never get put on the books to begin with. Comical. Offensive. Stupid.

Disney spends millions to help keep you from being a douchebag

At our most recent trip to Disney World in Orlando, our Disney welcome kit included the usual assortment of flyers, coupons, and brochures for all the things that help us have a great stay at “The Happiest Place on Earth.”

Disney Selfie Stick Brochure

That welcome kit included an entire brochure, printed in 9 different languages, that simply asks you to not be a complete douchebag with your smartphone while you’re in Disney World. Actually, they’re not asking, they’ve banned the use of selfie-sticks in all their parks. Every single person who buys a ticket to Disneyland/Disney World gets this brochure.

I have of course heard of selfie-sticks, and how obnoxious they are, but I had never actually seen one in use. Unlike Disney World, Universal Studios does not ban them from their parks. And they were everywhere. And I must say that they are everything I read about and more. The people that use them are obnoxious, rude, and generally just look like they’re complete douchebags whos entire self-worth is based on their Facebook/Instagram friend count.

Imagine the millions upon millions of dollars Disney spends each year printing this brochure, just to help keep you from being a douchebag. Disney cares!